“I can’t do this.”
It was almost 5 in the evening and Shreya had been lying in bed since at least an hour. Staring at the ceiling, tears pouring from her eyes, down the sides of her face, trickling down and settling on the pillow, creating two wet spots on either side of her head. There was no sound in the room, just her soft, rhythmic breathing and the ticking of the clock on the wall opposite the bed.
The four-poster bed loomed large in the small room. The room wasn’t very small, her bed was too big. It was all she had that connected her to the past, the life she had lived and can never go back to. She had insisted to have it sent to Pune when she moved to the city a year ago. It left little space in the room for her to move around, but she didn’t mind.
Rohan hated the space crunch though. He wanted her to move in with her, had become quite adamant about it, until he realised she would be taking her bed along and he’d have to dispose his. That had thrown him offtrack for just a while, ‘coz the very next day had agreed to it saying his bed held no emotional attachment to him.
In further attempt to dissuade him, Shreya had come up with more reasons why she couldn’t move in with him. None of them were that she didn’t love him, so he had found solutions to them all. She did love Rohan, truly did. But moving in together was a huge step forward. Nothing makes her happier than having him with her all day. Living together would make life much easier. She knew it was the right thing to do.
Yet here she lay, another anxiety attack brewing within her, about to take shape of a full-fledged breakdown. She clutched her mobile in her hand, still in two minds. “I can’t do this,” she kept repeating to herself.
A while later, she picked her phone and cleared the number she had typed to call. Rohan’s. She was about to break up with him, just to avoid addressing her fear about taking their relationship a step further.
Instead, she typed another number.
“Doctor, this is Shreya. It’s been a while, can I have an appointment? I want to talk.”